I have finally realized that I do entirely too much, as in, I’m too busy and overthink too much.
It came up in conversation this weekend with some of my best friends that they have never known me to not be doing a lot all at once. I’ve heard it for years, but I don't think I've ever given it much thought. I just ignore people, because if I don't do it, who else will? I know I keep a busy schedule. I’m the head of a one-income household and raising a very active child, so duh. I’m not sure how else I am supposed to live if I want to live a certain lifestyle. I never planned on this being a permanent lifestyle of mine, but unfortunately, we’re going on year 12 of this madness. I don’t want to work multiple jobs just to stay afloat, but I do what I need to do. If I’m honest, I am exhausted, I just force myself to keep going.
If you know of a single man who would be up my alley and would allow me to be a stay-at-home wife/mom.HMU (a joke but I’m also so serious lol)
Don't get me wrong, I’ve had some restful seasons, but they’ve been more forced slowdowns rather than me deciding on my own to take it easy. COVID forced me to stop not just my activities but also my sons. Also, this past year, work and life slowed down a bit but it felt more painful than I ever expected. Those breaks were needed, but I didn’t enjoy them. It was inconvenient to my timeline. I always have some plan to have a better life for me and my son, and when things go wrong, I feel that it messes up and delays my plans for my future. I always get close enough to where I can see myself touching it, but it never fails that the wind blows and I get knocked down. It's infuriating.
I’m the type of person who prays, feels like God is taking too long, and snatches it back to do it my way. Because for some reason (human reasoning), I believe I can do it better and faster. Of course, all this leads to me causing undue stress on myself. I freak out, I panic, I get angry, and I think of all the reasons why I deserve all the good things in life without having to work for them. One of my favorite things about myself is that, while I cry about every small inconvenience I am still finding the time to work daily towards my goals and dreams. I do have my moments where I haven’t necessarily given up on dreams completely, but I take a break from them when things seem to be getting hard. I get momentum, and then an obstacle comes up. My problem is, I need things to be perfect and then we can do it. Typically, I will plan through a plan A, B, C, and sometimes even D. However, once it comes to a part that seems like I’m not capable of teaching myself or it will take too much time, I give up. I self-sabotage a lot. I delay my process all the time. I feel I need to have all the details figured out before I start anything, because I’m a planner.
Normally, I spazz and have a meltdown about how much I hate that I did this to myself. I made my life so hard based on the choices I made, or I convinced myself that God hates me. And before I go any further, that is not true. God doesn't hate you or me. Again, I am probably one of the most dramatic people you will have the pleasure of getting to know. Anyway, the past year and a half has been a year of stretching and growing. I have lived each day, one day at a time, and asked God for help every single day.
I listen to a lot of self-help podcasts and read a lot of self-help books. Over the last few weeks, I noticed a theme in all the messages - Stop thinking, just do. God will make the path.
I've been reminded time and time again that many people who have been successful in life didn’t have a bulletproof plan. They just got started and figured it out as they went. Somehow, it's worked for a lot of people that way. Many stories in the Bible also show you how God can use any story and any situation and turn it for His good and things just work out (Moses, Esther, Paul). So I decided to give it a try. Every time I looked something else up, I would tell myself to wait and think and then another week goes by. So over the last few weeks I’ve allowed myself to slowly process what I’m hearing, seeing, and experiencing and I think it is finally paying off. I let go and let God. I’m exhausted. .but the wait was worth waiting for!






This past week has been a complete 180 from what my feelings and emotions were from my last post. A phrase that came out of my mouth continuously this weekend was “I am having the best time,” and at this time, I have nothing else that can fully express how I am feeling other than that short, sweet, and straight-to-the-point phrase.
I have been on this roller coaster of traumatizing events back to back since November 2023, and this week I have finally seen God answer some big prayers. Y'all, I got a raise, work is going so well, I feel the fire I once had again when I first started the job. I put in the paperwork to start my Nonprofit this week. I have board members, and was also randomly invited to an event with other organizations and have had so many unexpected conversations with people that would love to be involved. Even people from my past who could really bring something to the table. I am seriously soooo blown away! On top of that, two of my best friends were in town and we had “the best time”. I feel so full and so excited! Things feel like they are moving in the right direction for me in terms of my career dreams, and I couldn't be more thankful. I’m nervous, but I’m excited. Of course, this all still sounds like I am really busy, and I am, but I’m hoping this is the start of the slowdown.
This is probably one of the longest posts I have done so far, but I just felt like it was important to share my experience. I also just want to encourage anybody who is going through a hard season where you feel you are working so hard and can’t get a leg up that your time is coming. I don’t know how long it will take, but I feel confident enough to tell you this wait is going to be worth your while. I still have things I am praying for that I've been waiting on for a long time and I will continue to pray and wait on them. You should do the same, and slow down enough to hear what God is telling you and see what is in front of you. One of the biggest lessons I have learned and am still learning is that I can trust God. I can trust His timing. I can trust that He is in all the details of my life, but things happen on his timing, not mine. It is the hardest life lesson and I am being refreshed in it in every season of my adult life thus far. You can trust him too.
I have a lot of information I will be pushing out in the coming weeks, and I can’t wait to share it all. But for now, I’ll share this one.
NEW WEBSITE, WHO DIS?!
It’s been such a week of blessings, and I am overjoyed by how God has been moving in my life. From receiving a raise to feeling renewed joy in my work, it's as if everything I’ve been waiting for is finally coming together in His perfect timing.
I’m excited to share that I have restructured my life coaching services to make room for other ventures in my life and have revamped my website to reflect those changes. In staying with the theme of God’s perfect timing, my business has taken a major pause over the last almost 2 years. But I’ve finally gotten refocused, and I’m ready to help other moms around me see their full potential.
And today, I’m thrilled to announce the launch of my brand new website, pachionbreona.com! This website has been a long-time dream, and it’s now a space where I’ll be offering coaching services, sharing my story, and creating a community where we can all grow together. I’m also excited to dive deeper into writing and speaking, sharing more of what I’ve been learning through this season of life.
Go peek around the site, 👉 Explore my coaching services 👉 Book a free consultation with me today!
I can’t wait to dive deeper into these new beginnings with you. Stay tuned for more updates—I’m just getting started!
If you have read this far, thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to read my thoughts and the lessons that I am learning. If you found any of this post remotely helpful or encouraging, please share it. Share with a friend in need or a stranger you feel called to share with.
Five Good Things:
My kiddo got A, B Honor roll again.
I got a raise, and a slight fun adjustment to my job.
I’m In a better mood.
I got to see some of my best frannnss!
The weather has been nice.
Two At Least I’m Nots:
At least I’m not overwhelmed by work.
At least I’m not stranded in the middle of nowhere.
What are yours?